“Hold it all together everybody needs you strong but life hits you out of nowhere and barely leaves you holding on”
I realize we’re afraid to get ahead of ourselves. We catch ourselves when it seems we’re at the peak of happiness or climax in our lives. Where light is suddenly about to break through, we stop it. Sometimes it’s so hard to say “Everything is going great” or “I’ve never been this happy.” It’s scary enough to think those words let alone say them. But why are we afraid. Because things happen and something turns our world upside down? No. We’re afraid because we’re not fully trusting God. I caught myself doing this very thing. I’ve caught myself holding on to past hurts which have prevented me from completely trusting God. Why do we hold on to people who leave us or things that hurt us? I don’t know the answer. Maybe because we’re human. But I do know that we have to fully surrender. Fully surrender our hearts, our thoughts, our feelings. When we hold on to things and keep them bundled in, it’s only a matter of time until we erupt. Someone shared a powerful prayer with me one day and it’s changed my life. Simply this: “Pray that God will replace your feeling with his.” Completely remove yourself from the equation and see what it is God is leading you to or away from.” God already knows what we’re feeling; the pain that we’re trying to hide. Don’t allow life to use you. Allow God to use you. Let go of insecurities. Speak positivity over yourself and over your life. Let go of the thought that you’ll never be truly happy. Let go of the thought that something isn’t going to work out and trust. I’ve realized I’ve developed trust issues with myself, wrestling with my spiritual and human flesh. What does that mean? How can you have trust issues with yourself? Easy. Being afraid of allowing yourself to be happy. Holding yourself back from fear of being hurt. Blaming yourself for people hurting your or leaving you. Speaking word curses over yourself, “I’m not good enough.” I have to learn to trust who God is molding me to be. Peter is good example. “Peter was enthusiastic, strong-willed, impulsive, and, at times, brash. But for all his strengths, Peter had several failings in his life. Still, the Lord who chose him continued to mold him into exactly who He intended Peter to be.” You are being molded, everyday with the things you face, you are being sculpted. You are not a finished project.